Senior Dating: It’s a Whole New World Out There!

Dating has changed quite a bit in the past twenty-five years. Senior Citizens trying to get back into dating again will find out that they need a whole new game plan than they used in the past if they are to be successful. There are many new options to meet and connect with others. Sometimes, it pays to be creative.

Online Dating

Something most seniors just returning to dating have not experienced before is Online Dating or Online Matchmaking. There are quite a few online dating sites that have a special section just for seniors. They offer dating tips for senior citizens along with an opportunity to get to know a potential suitor online and then eventually, when they feel ready, get to know them in person.

For most sites it’s pretty straightforward – register, make an online profile with your hobbies, interests and contact information and then sit back and wait for the inquires to come in. The downside of this easy and convenient dating method is something that always needs to be remembered – on the internet, a person can pretend to be anyone they want to be. Never give out personal information until you’ve gotten to know the person. When you feel you’re ready to meet them in person …before you ever give out your address or home telephone number, make contact with a cell phone number so that the telephone number can’t be tracked back to your home address. Plan your first meeting in a public place like a coffee shop, busy park or library. It’s always good practice to let a friend or family member know where you are going to be – just to be safe. If something doesn’t feel right – leave and don’t drive directly home as you don’t want to chance anyone following you.

Many long term relationships and friendships have started on the internet. It’s a good, safe way to initially get to know someone in the comfort of your own home. Don’t be afraid to check it out and give it a try.

Senior Centers

A possibly overlooked place to meet other seniors for dating is at a Senior Citizen Community Center. Some of these centers even offer tips and seminars on Senior Citizen Dating. Senior centers have come a long way in recent times. Many of them offer transportation to and from the center each day. They may have different speakers, authors or political candidates come and give talks or seminars. They may offer exercise or craft classes or even games such as cards or Bingo. They usually also offer meals and a place for seniors to meet, visit and get to know one another. Many centers have dances or movie times also and some even charter buses for day trips to places of interest. Senior Centers are a wonderful way to get to know other seniors in the area. Who knows…hitting it off with a special someone just may happen.

Adult Game Rooms

If your state allows them, Adult Game Rooms are all the rage with seniors. The games are very similar to slot machines but give ‘credits’ for gift cards instead of cash. Walk into any game room most afternoons or evenings and it will be full of senior citizens! The games and the chance to win gift cards to places such as grocery or department stores is the biggest draw of course, but because it’s a relatively inexpensive way to spend the afternoon, you’ll find many seniors on fixed incomes spending their day pushing the buttons and waiting to hit a jackpot! Most of the game rooms serve free soft drinks, snacks and even lunch and dinner. They have parties for some of the holidays too.

The socializing that goes on in these game rooms can be similar to many clubs. They have “the regulars” that are there most days. Friendships and romances have been formed in these rooms over the bells and clanging of the machines.

Again, it is a good place for a senior to meet another senior who usually lives locally. The initial meeting is in a public, relaxed setting so there is plenty of time to get to know each other as you sit side by side, playing the machines and hoping that “Lady Luck” will shine down…or could it be waiting for Cupid instead?

Dating – though different than years past is still the same in many ways. It is still very important to get to know the person well before you agree to go out with them. These ways mentioned above are all easy, convenient and most of all safe ways for seniors to ease back into dating. Never give up because love and companionship at any age or stage is a gift worth achieving.

Dating Tips to Get Seniors Back Out on the Market

Finding the Right One

Dating for seniors can be quite challenging. For those who are just getting back on the dating scene, they may feel like they are a little out of the loop. Finding the right person to date can be one of the biggest challenges that present itself when getting back out on the market. Here are 5 great tips to help seniors back to dating.

Be yourself. This is the number one rule back then and it remains the number one rule now. Men and women like someone that is comfortable and at ease around them. Show the person you are interested in that you know how to have a good time, and can kick back and share a few jokes and laughs with the likes of them. This is definitely an eye catcher.

Be flirtatious. There is nothing wrong with being a little bit flirty. This says I see something I am taken with and I am trying to let you know I like it. Harmless flirting can be charming and sometimes cute. But you don’t want to overdo it and scare the person off. They may view you as being a bit too forward. So, take it nice and slow, and throw a flirt in here and there.

Be outgoing. Show the person that you are interested in that you still have it. Join a few activities that your interest in has joined. Be an active member and take charge in some activities. This will let the person know you are a real go getter. Nothing is more attractive than a take charge type of person.

Be positive. If possible, smile a lot and talk in a positive manner. Nothing turns a person off quicker than a negative or gloomy person. People like others that are fun and witty, and know how to have a good time. They are the real eye catchers. It still just so happens; the wall flowers are the last to dance.

Be patient. Don’t rush love; it will happen when it is supposed to. No one likes to feel as if they are being pressured into being with someone. Take your time to get to know the individual. This is especially true for seniors. You never know when someone may feel getting involved with you may have them sitting on a gold mine. There are many money hungry individuals waiting to sink their claws into some wealthy individuals, so be forewarned get to know the person you are interested in first. Love promises to be well worth the wait.

Five Tips to Dating as a Single Parent

As a single parent, dating can be particularly daunting. You have more than just your own well-being to consider. As a parent, you want what is best for them, but at the same time, you need to take care of your needs as well. And that includes personal and romantic relationships. Having kids does not mean being alone, but it does mean you need to take precautions.

1. Be up front with your date. This cannot be stressed enough. You should tell your date that you have kids right off the bat. A lot of people are turned off at the thought of dating someone with children from another relationship so you need to be up front to weed out those people. Even if your potential partner doesn’t have a problem dating someone with kids, it will send up a red flag if you wait to tell them.
2. Wait to bring them home. When children are involved, their emotions can become confused. Don’t bring your date home right away. You want to make sure this is a relationship worth continuing first. There is nothing more heartbreaking than watching your child become attached to someone and then have those ties severed because the two of you just didn’t work out.
3. Don’t get too attached before introducing them. This goes along with the waiting to bring them home. You personally shouldn’t wait too long to introduce your children to your perspective partner. Children have an uncanny sense of people and can read them better and more often than adults can. If you fall for someone and they don’t get along with your kids, it will put you in a nasty predicament. Save yourself the trouble and get the introductions done early on.
4. Don’t have a revolving door. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to settle down with just one person. Especially if your past relationships haven’t worked out. However, this doesn’t mean bring every person you date home to introduce to the kids. If this is where you are at in your life and have no desire to become committed, keep your personal life and your parenting separate, so you don’t confuse your children.
5. Respect yourself and your children. Dating is fun and exciting, but it can become messy quickly when kids are involved. The biggest thing you can do is to show everyone the respect they deserve. Don’t allow yourself to settle for someone just to have a mother or father figure in your kid’s life. You, your children, and the other person all deserve more than that. There is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be proactive and patient.

Most importantly, have fun! Don’t let the kids stand in your way of exploring personal and romantic relationships. This only hurts everyone in the long run. If you’re asked out, or want to do the asking, go for it. Hire a babysitter or enlist the help of family and friends and go enjoy yourself. You never know when that next date will be the one that leads to happily ever after.

Divorced and Dating?

Communication Frustration

It’s been a while since I’ve seriously considered dating again. I tend to believe my divorce attorney when he says, “It’s best to wait a year after the divorce before dating again. It gives you time to get your life straightened out and to relearn who would make the best friends.” As a result of this decision, I’ve discovered the fact there seems to be two different languages for communication in my world. I am not 100 per cent clear on whether each language is gender-specific or not, but they very well could be. It is the effects of mistranslation/misinterpretation that have me befuddled.

Having come to a crossroads in my life where I stand before a yellow light reconsidering with whom I spend my free time and knowing, without a doubt, a romantic relationship isn’t at the top of my emotional to-do list, I feel frustration with my indecisiveness and lack of ability to clearly communicate this with others. It is my belief these discussions are usually with people who have their own agendas. Whether it is the agenda of a man on the hunt for a one-night stand or a dating relationship, or a friend concerned I will forever live in relationship limbo, their agendas tend to be contrary to mine.

My frustration is with both men and women, pursuers and self-appointed advisors. Attempts at articulating my indecisiveness and relative sense of living in an emotional purgatory have often been thwarted by the need to analyze or advise. It’s not uncommon for my honesty to offend and/or perplex people.

Additionally, I often catch myself thinking, “If it’s confusing to you, imagine how confusing it is to me!?”

So, I withdraw. I avoid answering any questions directly and end up leaving my conversational counterpart wondering if I’m a tease, a bitch, a whore or damaged goods. The truth is, I’m none of the above…well, maybe a bit damaged (insert knowing laugh here). I like to reframe the appointed label by referring to myself as “in the midst of a huge emotional growth spurt.”

If not for my loving friends’ voices of concern, statements that I’m a quality woman with a lot to offer, I doubt I would really worry about it these days. For I truly enjoy just getting to know people and finding my new place in the crowd. As cliché as the following statement may sound, it is true. Each day is a journey. Each new face presents an opportunity to expand my world, try on new standards and learn about new perspectives and potential friends.

In my skewed perspective, the greatest compliment I give a pursuer is usually perceived as a negative, but I say it with heartfelt appreciation for each person’s offerings as a new friend. I place such a high value on friendship, often telling my children “God made the world, but our friends bear it on their shoulders and make it turn.” It is my calculation of that value, the potential costs of loss and my respect for each person that leads me to say, “I like you too much to date you.” For, in time, as my life changes, stabilizes, grows and moves forward, these are the people to whom I will reach out later, when the time is right and I can offer them time and energy.

In the end, it’s quite possible this sense of frustration will strengthen my ability to communicate my genuineness and my message. Whether this is an issue of gender-specific languages or faulty thinking on my part, it is a source of frustration for a single parent on the verge of re-entering the world of dating and romance.