The Benefits of Courtship Over Dating
In a culture that seems to stress hookups on a daily basis, courtship is making a comeback within some social groups. What exactly is courtship? Courtship is the seeking of the affection and compatibility of another person, usually of the opposite gender, that eventually leads to marriage. It differs from dating in that instead of actively seeking out different persons so that one is eventually “narrowed down” for compatibility, the person who is being courted develops a relationship with the other. This relationship may or may not involve mild physical intimacy, although having an emotional connection is considered by many to be a prerequisite during courtship. Religious people like fundamentalist Christians favor dating over courtship because for them a long lasting marriage is more beneficial than what they sometimes call “practice for divorce”, an apt description of dating because breaking up is a component of dating. Of course, courtship is not confined alone to certain cultures or religious groups. Your modern, average, everyday American can also take advantage of this social practice in finding the appropriate mate. What are some of the essential parts of courting?
Introducing oneself to the person is the first step in courtship. Getting to know each other first, the names, educational background, and the like, is common in courtship. Unlike dating, which can happen without ever even knowing the other person’s last name, there is a certain amount of social decorum that takes place here. Having the same values helps, too, for a courtship to be successful.
Meeting in public places such as restaurants, social clubs, and volunteer organizations allows for further “getting to know you” incidences. This also greatly benefits younger persons who court, such as Christian teens, since being in public will cut down on temptations. Preferably, there should not be any alcohol being served in the restaurant, but the restaurant does not have to be Chuck E. Cheese, either. For adults, deciding whether they will want a drink or not is an optional choice.
Since sex is not a part of courtship, there is time for a genuine relationship to blossom. Yes, Americans prefer instant self-gratification without consideration for the other at all, and look how that has affected relationships: more than a 50% divorce rate, more hookups than relationships, mind games being played, and a rise in sexually transmitted diseases, not including HIV/AIDS, according to the Center for Disease Control. But with that genuine relationship comes a special relationship that won’t be found in your Main Street hookup.
Get to know the other person’s personal hobbies and interests and take part in them. If he likes to go golfing, she can learn to golf with him. If she likes to scrapbook, he can also learn, especially if the couple plan on having children. But scrapbooking doesn’t have to be just for the kids, either: making a scrapbook of your courtship memories can be one of the most cherished items between them.
Cherish and adore your spouse to be. Courtship is about a special, exclusive relationship that can bring much happiness between the couple when conducted properly.
