Dating advice- should I mention my kids?

Lots of us have them but should we mention kids in our dating online profile?

That’s an excellent question and there is no right or wrong answer… as with most of this on-line dating advice– there will always be those who have had success with the exact opposite of what is advised in these pages, blogs, FAQ’s and the like. But we need to go with percentages here and what works better in most situations. As in life there will always be exceptions to everything and our advice is to read and take advice on-board but at the end of the day do what feels right for you. You know best about yourself after all.

Many woman will only date a man who has kids if she has kids herself. I should qualify that. Dating or a quick fling is one thing but I mean something developing into a long term relationship or going further and lasting. You have to have had kids to know. Many guys are going to feel left out and don’t understand that the kids come first for women if they haven’t had kids of their own. They don’t understand that bond between a parent and a child fully and can’t accept that they will only ever come second…but that’s fine, a woman has enough time and love for both.

So be up front. You think he is not going to find out you have a kid? really? Don’t make your profile full of stuff about your kids and don’t say ‘my kids will always come first’. This is a bit of a turn off for men from the get go. Those with kids will know this already and those without don’t want or need to know this yet until the relationship has had a chance to see if it is going anywhere. IE don’t scare them off before you have even started. Don’t even mention the kids. Generally in any online dating profile you select if you have kids, maybe how many or even sex of each and he can see that in your profile or in his match selection process. He won’t even see your profile if he has selected only women with no children in his search match criteria.  Your main profile is not the place to talk about your children.

Remember you only have a few seconds of reading to make an impression. Don’t start it with something about your children in your profile. Same with the first actual face to face meeting. You only have a matter of seconds to make that lasting good impression. Don’t ruin it. Plenty of time later to bring up the topic of kids or wait till he brings it up. But above all don’t lie and say you don’t have them when you do. This is a good general rule about everything too. Much easier to always tell the truth then you don’t have to try and remember what lies you have told and which one to whom if you are at the early stages of dating and maybe dating more than one. And most importantly, he is going to find out sooner or later and will not respect you for not telling the truth. Sure, you can embellish it a little or leave out details… that’s not lying right 😉 but don’t outright deceive… its going to come back and bite you eventually.

Kids can be a great way to meet that special man, and seeing him interact around his and/or your kids will tell you a lot about the type of man he really is. Now don’t bring the kids on your first date but they can be a great way to meet single dads off-line.

Good luck out there and remember there is someone for everyone somewhere out there. Sometimes it just takes longer than we want before we finally meet them. Maybe they have been right under your nose all along and you just haven’t realized it!