How to Talk to Your Child About Dating

How to Talk to Your Child About Dating

Whether you know it or not, the world is oriented around sex and pleasure today. Everything, from what our children see on the television to the clothing that is sold in the popular stores, is designed to arouse sexual desire. And even in the school system and everyday life where your child is exposed to his peers the discussion of sexual activity or at least dating is brought up on a daily basis.

How can you talk to your child effectively about dating? There are ways to assist your child in adopting the same wholesome view that you have. One thing that you want your child to understand is that there is nothing wrong with dating itself, when kept in it proper place because in most cultures dating is indeed a legitimate way for two people to get to know one another in preparation for marriage.

What we want our children to understand is that their peers tend to have a very casual view of dating – that of wanting to be with a member of the opposite sex without having any real intention of marrying that person.

There are many forms of dating as well, and they are not just limited to one on one physically spending time with one another. Dating can also be in the form of phone calls and text messaging. And sometimes when these means are used, they tend cast a haze over reality and people may find themselves saying things they wouldn’t usually say in person.

Ask your child this question, which was posed in the very useful book “Questions Young People Ask, Answers That Work”

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Single Parent Dating Guidelines, Tips and Advice

Single Parent Dating Guidelines, Tips and Advice

If the Manual was Missing

Re-entering the world of dating once you’ve been out of it for a while can be daunting. You are starting over in a different time and place. Add the title of “single parent” and there is minefield of obstacles and potential mistakes. Following is advice and tips for single parents getting back out there in the dating scene. Use these guidelines to do it with success.

Be emotionally ready. Single parents, are the loose ends of your former relationship tied up? If you are still angry or grieving from past love and life, you will take that into a new relationship. And it will not matter how great it could be, because it won’t be. Negative emotions will sabotage a new love before it even starts. And no one wants to enter someone else’s mess anyway. If you have issues with self-esteem, now is the time to address them, before embarking on a new relationship. You must be healthy if you expect to be half of a healthy couple. This seems like common sense, but too many people enter into new relationships before they are emotionally sound.

Establish a new support system. Often overlooked, this is important for a few reasons. Psychology Today reports that new friends are typically better at helping you adjust to your new life. New friends are open because they know you as who you are now. Though older friends usually have your best interests at heart, they are commonly biased toward your old life or they could even be harboring some jealousy.

Take care of yourself. Single parenthood is exhausting in itself, without dating. Get proper nutrition and exercise for energy and health. You are going to need it. Experts at helpguide.org agree that “when you improve your physical health, you’ll automatically experience greater mental and emotional well-being”. The side effects of looking great and feeling good can only benefit your confidence and quality of life. Dating adventures automatically improved.

Decide who you are looking for. Make a list of important values, beliefs and standards that a future mate will need to possess. Then do not sway from it. Of course, everyone has a few potentially annoying character traits. Some are insignificant and not to base a relationship’s potential on, while some others are (and should be) deal-breakers. Decipher the difference.

Don’t be afraid of online dating. It provides a great amount of choices and allows for the beauty of pre-screening. No need to waste time and money dating those who are not in line with what you are looking for. Get to know them somewhat before even meeting them. You can start to build an emotional bond without the superficial worries of a blind first meeting.

Establish clear intentions from day one. Be upfront about who you are, what you are seeking and where your priorities lie. This includes letting a potential date know that your children come first. Anyone worth your time will respect and admire this. Additionally, an authentic connection is based on honesty and it all comes out eventually anyway. If it comes out as a negative surprise, it will likely ruin the relationship. Why waste everyone’s time and emotions? If you are looking for casual dating, say so. Heed the Golden Rule.

Proceed with caution. It takes time to really get to know someone. You need to see their reactions and interactions to situations and other people. Everyone puts their most likable foot forward and time will reveal the rest of the person. Search engines can be of assistance as well.

Tell your children only when it’s serious. Kids do not need to meet casual dates. It will confuse them and they could become attached. If the relationship ends, it could be heartbreaking for your children. Be honest with your children without going into detail, by referring to your new friend as just that: a friend.

Introduce after you have concluded there is future potential, but before you have decided for sure. If you are having strong feelings for someone and a future is possible, it’s important to see the dynamic between them and your children. You are a package deal now and if it doesn’t work for your kids, then it doesn’t work for you. Before the meeting prepare your children by talking about it and their expected behavior. Test the waters one toe at a time. The first few meetings should be short and geared toward your children, like the park or out for ice cream. Pay close attention to your children’s body language and encourage them to open up about their feelings. Be sure to let them have their feelings, whether you like them or not. Seriously consider their input; they may be on to something.

Don’t rush your kids. They are going through their own process. Just because you are ready for something new, doesn’t mean they are. According to Michele Germaine, a psychotherapist and recognized relationship expert, your children are dealing with fear of losing your love and attention when you date. It is important to consistently reassure them of your love and that your relationship with them will not change.

While dating as a single parent may not be effortless, these strategies will definitely ease the process. Cast your line and refer back as needed.

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What I Learned – Bird’s-Eye View of Dating

What I Learned – Bird’s-Eye View of Dating

I spent most of this morning thinking about all the people that have come in and out of my life. With divorced parents, there has been quite a few people casually stroll through my life. My mother’s endeavors in love stand out to me as this journey produced many figures. This afforded me an interesting opportunity as a young adult wise beyond my years. I was able to view the dating scene from a third party perspective, literally, and being able to get the bird’s eye view of love has taught me some invaluable lessons.

My mom dated A LOT. It seems quite funny now, but I have met some crazy middle-aged dudes! And for a time not so long ago, it felt as if my husband and I were casually dating these fine champs right alongside my mother, joining them for quiet dinners and long walks along the beach. As with any lady joining the love scene for the second time around, she needed some familial support, and I, her only child, was just the girl for the job.

It was my husband’s job to spot the crazies- you know, the men we knew were completely psychotic. Fortunately for us, complete nut jobs were few and far between, but we all had our radar on just in case. Vigilance was key to our protection. Most of the time, however, the men we met while on this noble quest to find my mother true love… again…, were just average joes looking for the same thing she was.

On the other hand, to say that there is a wide range of personalities out there is a definite understatement! It was a research project just finding out all the little things that made these people tick. Everyone was so different in what the liked to do, eat, and listen to. I loved finding out what kinds of behaviors made them angry and what things made them happy. I learned much about human nature from these double dates with my mom.

So did any of them leave an impression on me? A few stand out, certain character traits, certain personality traits, but for the most part, I have to feel that most people are alright. You just have to find the right one- the one you click with.

She, wait a minute, we, had to shuffle through a few gentlemen, but eventually she did find someone to share her life with, and I hope it lasts a while. With divorced parents, I think the kids always wonder. But now that this journey seems over, I reminisce about the process. It has truly enlightened me. It taught me to respect other people no matter how different their values may be from my own, but that it is good to choose to be around people with the same values. It has taught to appreciate the quirks that makes someone special. No one, I repeat, no one is perfect, and if they think they are they are being dishonest to themselves and to all others. Everyone has faults, and more often than not, its these “bad” things- gecko toes like I have or an incessant need to clean like my mom has or skinny legs or no tushy- that make a person so very loveable. It is a necessary thing to like yourself for all that your worth- the nutty parts and all. And you must appreciate people for who they are and what they have taught you. I guarantee if you think hard enough everyone has taught you something.

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Top Four Things Men Wished Women Knew About Dating

Top Four Things Men Wished Women Knew About Dating

Stand in the check-out line of any grocery store, and you have had the opportunity to read the magazines that are just waiting to be picked up. Chock-full of such valuable information as “driving your man wild” and “how to have pouty lips like Angelina Jollie” they fill your head with more misinformation than is really necessary. As a matter of fact, the average guy, whom you are most likely going to be dating, cares very little about Angelina Jollie.

Instead, there are a lot of very different perspectives he will have of you and of dates, and to this end here are the top four things men wished women knew about dating:

  1. If you want a man to like you for who you are, then be yourself! Men do not really care about the intricacies of your job, how important you are to the company you work for, and how brilliant your friends think you are. The odds are pretty good that they are already impressed by you in some way – otherwise they would not have asked you out in the first place! So relax and be honest.
  2. Men are extremely visual. At the same time, women like to dress up nicely and make themselves feel sexy. Nonetheless, women also want to be loved and admired for who they are, not for the cleavage they may have. It is not surprising that this propensity for visual enjoyment as well as outward appearance sometimes clash. To this end, if you do not want a man to look at you and drool the same way he would over a New York Strip Steak, then do not wear something that is more revealing than it is covering.
  3. Once there is a relationship in the works, and you are wondering where it is going, simply ask! Men are not good at hinting and entendres; instead, if you want to know directly if the relationship is going where you are hoping it is headed, ask!

4. Last but not least, while men are historically expected to pay for some entertainment such as dinners, movies, and other things, it is unfair to treat a man who is neither your steady boyfriend nor your husband as though he is expected to pay for everything. Until your relationship progresses to these levels, it is only fair to switch off or at least have you pay once in a while.

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Five Advantages of Dating an Older Man

Five Advantages of Dating an Older Man

Don’t overlook the advantages of dating an older man. Older men have more advantages than younger men do. Here are five advantages of dating an older man.

He Has More Experience In The Bedroom

The chances of an older man knowing how to satisfy you better in bed is greater. You don’t have to worry about his performance in bed since he has had several women over the years. He will most likely know how to please you without you having to tell him a single thing.

He Makes More Money

He has had several more years of experience in his career than most young people. He is able to afford to go out on better dates. You won’t have to settle for a fast food joint anymore. You get the luxury to dine at nice restaurants with great tasting food. He will be able to provide you with a wonderful evening getting to know each other.

Achieved More

He has better credit. He most likely owns a house. If he doesn’t own a house, then he most likely has a luxury apartment. He has finished college in most cases. He might even have two master degrees that makes him qualified for a career in more than one field.

He Treats Women Right

He knows that it isn’t right to put his hands on women in anger. He knows how to treat a woman right. He knows how to be polite. He knows what he should and shouldn’t do in regards to treating woman properly.

He Knows What Make Women Happy

You don’t have to tell him what will make you happy. He knows what gifts not to buy you for your birthday or any holiday. He understands the real things that make women happy in life. He is able to do things that truly make you feel happy to be with him. You know it is true happiness when the both of you hardly ever argue with each other, unless it’s about small things that in the big picture don’t really matter.

The bottom line is that older men generally know what they are doing. They’ve outgrown the stupid and irresponsible behavior of the ones in their early twenties. If they have kids, the kids are likely grown or at least old enough where they’re not one hundred percent dependent on their dad. So if you have your eyes on a guy who has more than a few years on you, don’t be so quick to dismiss him as too old. Dating him may be one of the best experiences of your life on many levels. Good luck out there.

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