The Reality of Dating Reality Shows

The Reality of Dating Reality Shows

To say that a television show has positive or negative influence over reality, is to ignore the “X factor”. It’s really got nothing to do with the show itself. It is always in the viewer to take from an experience what they will, much as with the Christian Bible. The presentation may be different, but the end results are the same; people hear what they want to hear, then they apply those things to their life in ways that are personally beneficial.

This doesn’t make the thing “good” or “bad”. If we judged everything on the effect it has on people, most of that which is Sacred would be considered “bad” because religious fervor is behind a great many wars. Media, like people, can have both a positive and a negative impact of people at the same time. Although presentation can influence in one direction or another, it is really about the person doing the viewing.

So we need to look at the types of people viewing the particular program. Their motivation for watching will have more impact on the individual, than whatever words they hear. People watch for many reasons, but the primary purpose is entertainment. Some shows are viewed purely for the laugh factor. The “educated” audience is entertained by the predicaments, wording, even behavior or the players they perceive as being of a “lower class”. A superior attitude does not, however, prevent them from taking more from the show than a few moments of entertainment.

One of the amazing things about people is our mind’s ability to pick up, store and later produce information that we did not conscientiously receive. By exposing ourselves to an idea, even though we may joke about it, the future can find us referring to a feint memory we have of something we didn’t even realize we had. As we drive down the street, we see young people dressed with extreme exposure, but our brains refer back to the images we have picked up through the media. We judge their appropriateness not only on our own personal standards, but the things we have been exposed to, so an outfit that might be of questionable taste, becomes not as bad as others we’ve seen.

Unfortunately, not everyone viewing these shows does so objectively. Young people who are just learning about the ways of the world, may view some of these more extreme shows and think such behavior is appropriate in reality, not just as entertainment. They see svelte, buff bodies treating others as objects instead of people. They see individuals playing mind games with one another in order to receive a prize that ultimately may not be appropriate for them. There is so little “reality” in “reality TV” that I am truly frightened for future generations. Not everyone has been sat down and had the world of television explained to them. Even as adults, we can often be confused by perceived reality.

For those who understand the what they are seeing is entertainment, “reality dating shows” can be informative. By observing people and their reactions, we can learn a great deal about them. These shows can bring up topics and situations that may be difficult for individuals to discuss, but now that they are on TV, the discussion is not as awkward. Most people cannot help but verbalize over extreme behavior as is often seen on “reality” shows, thereby creating a pattern of positive peer pressure against certain behaviors. At the very least, discussions are taking place that enlighten viewers, rather they take place on the screen or because of it.

I am not a fan of “reality” shows. Although I can see a benefit, I don’t believe that most people actively pursue the positive influence they can have and instead, they use the extreme situations intended to entertain, as an excuse for their own inappropriate behavior. I am, however, determined to be positive, so, although I do think “dating reality shows” have an over-all negative impact on society, I will maintain the possibility that even they can help make this world a better place.

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Dating Do’s and Don’ts

Dating Do’s and Don’ts

Online dating has certain interesting conventions which are not so easily understood by many. When dating someone online, it is always different to meeting one for real, thus certain new framed rules must be followed to maintain success. These rules are not ground breaking, they are simple and anyone can understand these by applying logic. This article will reduce your burden of thinking and give you well proven points, follow them to be successful. Also understand that everyone is unique, certain modifications to the rules may really be necessary in some cases.

One most important thing to make in online dating is that you remain smart always. One must never act stupid, since the modern internet community makes use of a lot in acronyms; it is always advised that you learn by referring certain pages to be up to date with such terms. Never use offensive language then chatting. Make it a point that you keep the usage at zero or as minimal as possible. Never act or talk like a pessimist. Always look at the brighter side of life never behave in an unusual manner. If you are meeting for the first time, never dress bad or fail to treat the lady in a good manner. A lady always requires a certain level of decency with which you must act towards her.

Also don’t be disappointed if you do not find her to be exactly as she looks to be in her photo, everyone has to remember that it is the heart that matters at the end and not anything else. One most important thing to remember is that women hate men who tend to speak all about him. It is advised not to be self-centered or over exuberantly about his achievements and records. Women hate to hear this. Do not speak too much about sports of movies, women generally look out for real romance rather than artificially getting it through films, and they generally tend to be less inclined towards sports as well. The most important and apt thing to talk about is your plans for the future, your family, how do you intend to settle down and other aspects similar to this.

Everyone knows that the first impression is the best impression; this applies in this context as well. One must make an entry with a bang; this is very catchy and also asserts your dominance over others. Women specifically like to see and meet someone with such attributes. So it is advised that you plan a bit on how to make an entrance and how to start a conversation. This way you make a definite impression on the lady.

One interesting thing about a girl’s mind is that they cannot bear surprises; they will blow their heads away to learn what the surprise is. Do not show off your special talents like boozing more than ten pegs of whisky or bottles of beer, always remain cool, calm and collective. Think before you do anything, make sure that your date will like and relish your actions and start loving you truly, these are the ways to turn a date into a fully-fledged relationship.

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Five Scandalous Dating Reality Shows that Don’t Exist (Yet)

Five Scandalous Dating Reality Shows that Don’t Exist (Yet)

Every time you turn around, new dating realities shows burst onto the scene, promising even more scandal. These shows are the world’s guilty pleasures. The more we complain about how shallow and baseless they are the more we tune in. It seems that in an effort to push the boundaries of decency, the creators and producers get more risqué, allowing the participants to “be themselves”-in an effort to score higher ratings. What if the boundaries on these reality programs grew exceptionally thin? What kinds of dating shows would audiences surely tune in to see? Here are some ideas…

Reality Show Title: “Age, Sex, Location”
Program Type: Online Dating Reality Show

If you’ve ever participated in online dating, then you realize exactly how much of a romantic gamble you’re taking every time you make a “connection.” Some potential love interests lie about their height, weight, and age. Some look drastically different from their online photos. Others actually look better than their pictures. Some are pretty accurate in their descriptions, but have personalities that are better left shrouded in mystery. Wouldn’t it be fabulous to follow a group of singles who have embarked upon this kind of dating quest? The reality show participants would have their first (and perhaps 2nd and 3rd) dates filmed (with the other party’s permission) for the show. Finally, the world would get to see exactly how hilarious many of these online dating exchanges really are.

Reality Show Title: “Spouse Swap”
Program Type: Swinging Couples Dating

Couples who enjoy swinging would participate on a show that would allow them to explore this lifestyle on the air. The show would not reveal the sexual exploits, but would get pretty racy. Highlights would include all the ramifications that go along with swinging: the lovers’ spats, secret canoodling sessions, inter-couple gossip, and the whole nine yards. There is no way that this show would not be a network ratings booster.

Reality Show Title: “Date My Ex”
Program Type: Singles Swapping Exes

This dating reality show features a group of singles and their exes. The concept of the show is very similar to the episode of “Sex and the City” in which party guests were to bring along a guest of the opposite sex, so as to ensure a balance in potential love matches. However, on this reality show the tricked-out mansion would be literally brimming with people: both the singles and the exes. Imagine the sparks (and fists) that will fly when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head.

Reality Show Title: “Real Mistresses of {Insert City Here}”
Program Type: Chronicles of the “Mistress” Lifestyle

This show would serve as a racy spin-off of the Real Housewives franchise. The world seems to be obsessed with the Mistress’ “side of the story.” So what better way to accommodate both our nosiness, and their need for a paycheck? These women who have been accused of ripping apart so many Hollywood marriages would finally be front and center. We’d see how they interact with their own kids (yes, they’re moms too.) We’d also get a chance to see just how these dirty dealings go down. And because the list of hidden mistresses appears to be never-ending, there is no telling exactly how many seasons you could squeeze out of this reality show.

Reality Show Title: “The Bunny Ranch Chronicles”
Program Type: Racy Reality Exposé

While we know that prostitution exists all over the country, the only state where it is legal is Nevada. HBO has already aired a pretty intimate documentary series on the infamous Bunny Ranch – a legal brothel located several miles outside of Las Vegas. There are also other brothels located in the state. So, why not chronicle any existing competition-effectively spinning the documentary into a full-fledged reality series? Now that’s reality TV.

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The Connection Between Weight and Dating

The Connection Between Weight and Dating

I Would Never Date a Fat Girl

I have been in a relationship for about six months now. He is caring, funny and we get along perfectly … basically all I could want in a relationship. So on one particularly boring Tuesday night I asked that very question, the one every woman wants to know but hates to ask “am I the type of person you are usually attracted to?”

My boyfriend smartly gave the correct response and simply said that he is attracted to beautiful woman. Content with that answer I was about to change the subject to what we should watch on television when he added “I could never date a fat girl” Of course once said statement was made, I had about a million questions running through my head ranging from what if she was a really good person to maybe she was just heavier because she was going through an emotional time would you still not date her? (yes I blamed emotions on weight gain). At this point my boyfriend realized the line he crossed and quickly amended his answer but the damage had been done.

We live in a society that praise the skinny and condemn the heavy. Politicians are talking of putting a special tax on our favorite Milky Way bars and French fries to try and deter people from eating those types of food. When our society has reached a point when we are considering taxing “bad food” have we crossed the line and reached the point of no return? Has dating turned into a place where the skinny will succeed and find love and the heavy will be alone, miserable, and heavily taxed on their favorite foods?

I consulted one of my good friends, Misty, who through the miracle of eating healthy and working out (plus prescribed weight loss pills) had lost an impressive 100 pounds and a 285-pound boyfriend. I wondered if after losing the weight she felt the need to “trade-up” in the world of dating hence ditching the considered “over-weight” boyfriend by popular standards. Over subway sandwiches (less than 300 calories a piece) she told me his weight had nothing to do with her ending a four-year relationship. She admitted that since her weight loss she felt the need to socialize and do things outside of watching the television every night (did not admit to her I sat through a mini Law and Order SVU marathon that previous night) and he was a home body and their lives became too different and they grew apart.

Even though Misty said her weight loss was not the downfall to their relationship I disagreed. Before she started popping weight loss pills like Altoids I could hardly convince her to get a cocktail with me once a month and now with her make-over almost complete she feels more confident to get that one and sometimes three cocktails with me. So in reality it seemed my good friend started going out once she felt her weight was acceptable by society standards and thus ditching what I considered to be a great guy.

After my unsatisfying 300 calorie lunch I continued my day determined not to think about weight but the issue kept reappearing. From the $4.00 dollar magazines I have to buy every month that features new mothers already losing all their baby weight (mind you in less time than it takes me to get across town) to women in the bathroom discussing the vending machine not having enough “healthy options” our lives are consumed with weight. Even when I tried not to think about weight it was as if society would not allow me that for even one day. That night over pizza I even felt guilty about ordering extra cheese and not opting for the diet coke.

I realized I was holding a grudge against my boyfriend for the comment he made. But I realized he was just being honest, just doing what society encouraged him to do. For women all we can do is battle the urge to give in to society and try… not to be happy with ourselves (I mean come on who are we trying to kid) but maybe be ok with who we are and what we look like. If woman can accomplish that feat maybe society in general will follow or at least reconsider tacking on 10 cents to our favorite fast food… even a size 0 has to indulge in fries when she is having a rough week.

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Internet Dating, Women Over 50

Internet Dating, Women Over 50

Be Smart and Be Safe

I have had several friends use internet dating and recommend it as a good way to meet people of the opposite sex, even if no romance develops. Faith*, Hope*, and Grace* have each had good and bad experiences (as we all do when taking a chance on love). They have cried, laughed, and said a big “Whew!” while wiping their brow after a close call. While none have made a romantic connection, they have had good times with some interesting people. My girlfriends are loyal, trusting, and faithful givers. They can be tough as nails when protecting others but personally vulnerable.

A widow of several years, Faith has a beautiful smile and can light up a room with her laughter. She is mystical and loves angels and crystals. She can see (and sometimes bring out) the good in everyone. She tries to be cautious and takes her time getting to know the men before agreeing to meet them in person, always in public. She is very open and trusting but assures me she doesn’t give out personal information too quickly. Her son watches out for her and is always reminding her to be safe.

Originally lonesome and looking for romance, Faith had given up and was just having fun when Pete* came into her life through plenty of fish. Although they had only spoken on the phone for a few months, it seemed to her that they had known each other for years. He was out of state but she finally agreed to fly up and stay for a week (she stayed alone in a hotel). For over a year they enjoyed a long-distance romance that ended in a great friendship. The oldest of my 3 friends, Faith remains optimistic, looking for love and friendship on the internet, she suggests that you be cautious and don’t expect too much; just relax and just enjoy yourself.

Hope attracts stalkers (online and off) and men whose actions conflict with their words. She used a few different sites, each Christian-based. She had lost her home, her job, and moved out of state to be near family. She tried internet dating as a way to escape and to get an occasional free meal (at times she would have gone hungry otherwise). She would never have met her first connection in person if she listened to her instincts. He was calling often, worrying about where she was and if she was okay when she didn’t answer. Hope went out with him a few times and quickly found out he was demanding and controlling of their time together. It took longer to get him out of her life than the time spent dating. Another expected sex in exchange for dinner and she didn’t hear from him again when she refused. A third was not in good health and seemed to be looking for a nurse rather than a partner. Being a nurturer, she easily and naturally fell into the role of caring for him until she realized the relationship was all one-sided.

While not giving up the idea of online dating completely, Hope is done for a while. She feels she got away from her faith for a time and is now back on track, trusting God to look out for her as He always has. She is back where she feels at home again and in the loving bosom of her Christian friends, attending retreats and spending time with those who share her faith. She advises being careful and to remember…”Just because it’s a Christian site does not mean everyone on it is a Christian”.

Small of stature but big at heart, Grace, a recent widow, felt it was time to restart her life. Using match.com, she had two bad experiences and wants women to listen to the warnings and do not leave the website if they are pushing you to do so. Both of the men Grace spoke to insisted it would be much easier to get to know each other on yahoo messenger. One wanted her to hide her profile. It seems a simple, safe request but is only the beginning for a scammer to get you to trust him. Stay on the dating site so you can easily end conversations with him and report him if things are not right.

The first was supposedly in Africa with his son, making contacts to sell his antiques, but lived in New York where he home-schooled his son. He told her he had caught his wife with another man and called her a liar when she said she needed to get off to have dinner with her family. He thought she was talking to other men and “got really nasty with me”. She quickly cut off all contact with him. She has since learned that there are scams involving antiques in Africa.

The second said his name was David Hennet and that he was a widower with an American father and a Swedish mother who had died a few years ago. He also claimed to be a widower, having lost his wife and child in an auto accident. He was looking for love and after only four days of chatting with Grace, he “trusted” her enough to ask for her help in getting money he and his men had found in Iraq. Having no family, he of course needed someone he could trust to get the money back home where he could invest it. He knew a diplomat who would get the money to her safely. She recognized it as a scam and got out.

Whichever site you choose, I highly recommend that you read and follow its safety tips and look up the current scams. There are many sites (scamwatch.com, connecting singles anti-scam, romancescam.com…) that you can use to stay informed and report any abuse. Be safe but have fun.

* real name not used.

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