The 7 Most Important Dating Tips
Advice and Tips for Dating Men and Women
From experience coaching singles in the dating game, the first thing they need to learn is how to get their head in the game. Here are seven tips:
TIP 1: Focus on techniques – not on feelings and specific outcomes
When a woman goes to a single’s event, she may feel awkward, lonely, silly, and shy. She may focus on whether or not she is getting attention, giving out her number, or meeting that special someone. She may feel discouraged by her options-or confused when he doesn’t call. All these feelings, thoughts, and experiences can cause her to lose her hope and confidence, while increasing her tendency to burn out on the game. However, if she understands that most of her success or failure in the game is about her technique rather than her personality, she can explore hundreds of options for making every singles event, date, or relationship an opportunity for growth and improved dating and relationship skills.
TIP 2: Flirt!
It is the way in which a woman lets her interest be known, how she communicates “I am approachable, available, and open to meeting you,” and the tool she uses to appear happy, confident, warm, and interesting. This decreases his fears of rejection, while maintaining his desire and interest in pursuing her.
Flirting, at its finest, includes:
Eye contact with a warm smile (or even a little tilt of the head) sincere compliments or observations (“That is a great tie.”-“I really like your haircut.”-“You look familiar, have we met before?”)
A gentle touch on the arm (especially when saying hello and goodbye, or when emphasizing a point during the conversation)
Slow, purposeful moves (from brushing hair away from her face to gently tapping a pencil, etc.)
A feminine, soft tone of voice (to distinguish the person as special and important)
Energy expended in the direction of the person (talking with hand movements, gentle tapping of the foot, leaning forward, etc.)
Curious questions (“Tell me more,” “Where did you learn how to do that?”, “How did that happen?”, etc.)
Learning, knowing, and using the person’s name (as a way of indicating their importance to her)
TIP 3: Make them feel great!
Many women may feel that flirting is uncomfortable, silly, attention- seeking, or demeaning. However, if flirting is seen as a tool for making another person feel great and special, a woman may find she enjoys the experience. When she focuses on making another person
smile, warm up, share more, laugh easier, or stand taller, she discovers that flirting can be a win/win for others and for herself. This, also, makes her appear happy, confident, warm, inviting, and interesting, which is very attractive and intriguing to men.
TIP 4: Be a challenge
When a woman understands that a man will only love, value, and appreciate her when he sacrifices for her, it becomes clear that she must encourage him to feel challenged and driven to seek her time and energy. He needs the experience and thrill of walking across the room to meet her, maintain a conversation, ask for her number, call her, ask her on a date, pay for the date, pursue her further and more. She encourages this process when she looks him in the eyes and smiles from across the room, shows interest in him, asks his name, touches him on the arm, and then within ten minutes expresses
how much she would enjoying talking to him again (rather than lingering too long in the conversation and creating boredom).
A man knows how to pursue the things he wants. If he is interested, he will pursue her number and invest his time and energy into getting to know her. By giving warmth but limiting how much time or energy she gives him (until he puts effort and investment into getting to know her), she increases the likelihood that he will appreciate her more (rather than quickly become bored or disinterested).
TIP 5: If he doesn’t pursue, someone else will
When a woman believes that the kind of man she is looking for is looking for someone like her and he will pursue her, she acts more confident, happy, and worth pursuing. It is important for a woman to know that if this man does not pursue her someone else will. He is not her only chance for happiness. She will have the opportunity to marry the kind of man she is looking for. She need only play her role and have faith that many men are attracted to her and do see her for what she has to offer. This belief and attitude can greatly improve her confidence and a man’s desire to pursue her.
TIP 6: Set goals, practice, experiment and focus on progress
A woman who approaches every singles event, phone call, or date prepared to achieve certain goals, practice new techniques, or experiment with new ways to make someone feel great, will be less worried about what others are thinking, whether he will pursue her, or if this singles event or date will be a waste of her time. Instead she will feel a sense of control, purpose, and power over her life and progress in the dating game. Certainly results will come, which is fun and rewarding, but her focus is on playing her role and not whether this one man pursues her or not (because if he doesn’t someone else will). Every technique used, every new skill developed, every new encounter with men only improves her effectiveness and relationship skills with men. Thus, she has a greater hope for success, love, and happiness in the near future.
TIP 7: Do more than avoid the jerks, adore good men
There is little good that comes from experiencing an abusive, manipulative, controlling, deceptive, or unfaithful relationship. These relationships erode self-esteem, are difficult to get out of, and take months and years to recover from. Every woman should know the early warning signs of the abusive and manipulative.
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