Dating and the Single Parent – Keys to Success
The most important factor for single parents to date successfully is for them to know why they are single.
If your reflections of why you are single include “he did this” or “she did that” but have few concessions to personal contributions, you are not ready to date. Even if you are a single parent largely due to the behaviors of another, not recognizing what personal qualities led you to choose your previous partner will most likely lead to a repeat performance.
As a single parent you are now in a position to model to your children (whether you like it or not) how to choose an appropriate mate, how to discern acceptable behaviors and how to graciously remove yourself from a situation that is not reflective of your values, all while maintaining integrity.
Remember your children are children and information should not be hidden from them (less they later hide information from you) but should be disseminated according to their level of emotional maturity.
If your children are internet savvy and the internet is your vehicle for single parent dating, remember to keep your browsing and conversations private. Modeling to your children that an online introduction is a safe precursor to “in person” dating may unwittingly open Pandora’s box.
When “primping” for your date keep in mind to use “appropriate bait for what you are trying to catch”. Children will pick up on your technique and utilize it later, either by imitation or bringing it home.
“Single Parent” is a misleading catch phrase, the winning equation is to prioritize your life as a “parent whom happens to be single” not a “single person whom happens to be a parent.”
Time is a luxury to parents whether they be single or married and dating takes time. Use your time wisely making a list of what you are looking for, include 3 “must have’s” and 3 “deal breakers”. Don’t waver due to physical attraction. Remember the “hot factor” fades but a propensity towards a particular behavior remains.