Single Parents and Dating
Being a single parent, dating is not an easy task to accomplish, especially when you want to do what is best for the children. This can also work in reverse if you are single and wanting to date a single parent. Either way, you have obstacles to overcome, and you need strategies to help you succeed.
As a single parent you probably find it hard to search for a date besides the obvious places where your children’s activities take you, such as ball fields and/or school functions, so single parent personals, or online dating sites, might be a solution to get you started as a single parent dating. You can do the searching from the comfort of your home and after your children are in bed. Not many of these online dating sites are geared toward single parents, but www.singleparentmeet.com is one particular site that does. The majority of the people have children, but you will find single people with no children seeking single parents to date. You can always go to www.match.com , adultfriendfinder, www.eharmony.com among plenty of other dating sites. These sites are for all types of singles so be sure you post that you have children in your profile.
Once you begin dating, you must remember to keep your love life separate from your children at least for six months to a year. Introducing your children to someone too early could be a big mistake. For instance, let’s say you have dated someone for a couple of months and decide to introduce him to your children. He hangs around for two more months, and just as the children are getting used to him being there, he decides he doesn’t want to date you anymore. If you had waited a few more months, then you would have known dating him wasn’t going to work and saved your children from growing too attached to him. Just make sure whoever you date is going to stick around for a while. After all the children have already been through enough; they don’t need you parading members of the opposite sex in and out of your home.
After the children are tucked into bed, you can make or receive phone calls and/or get online. You might view this as keeping secrets from your children, but the less they know the better it will be. Go on dates when the children are with the other parent for the weekend, have them stay with a family member or hire a high school student to baby-sit. Again, you are only thinking of protecting your children from any more devastation.
On the other hand, if you are single and are dating a single parent, you must respect someone who is raising her children to have good morals. When dating single parents, you must not push too hard to meet face-to-face. If she says, “I can’t go out this weekend because I have my kids and can’t find a sitter,” then show you understand by not pressuring her. You will get your chance to go out on that date the next weekend when she doesn’t have her children or a baby-sitter is available. The wait will be well worth it.
Once you have dated for six months to a year, you will probably meet her children for the first time. Remember one important thing. You are not there to replace the missing parent. You can befriend the children, but whatever you do you are not there to be “Mom” or “Dad.” You should not discipline the children, but you can be supportive to the parent who is disciplining. For instance, let’s say you have been playing a game with the children, and she tells the children it is time for bed. The children moan and groan that they want to stay up since you are there and they are having fun. You might say, “Listen to what your mom said. We can play again the next time I come over.” You do not want to continue playing and ignore what the parent told the children to do but, again, just be supportive.
In today’s society you are bound to either be a single parent dating or a single person dating a parent. If you use the strategies above, you are bound to have a successful dating life and will hopefully find your true soul mate.
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