How to Start Dating Again when You’re a Woman Over 50
(And You’re Older and Wiser)
Are you a little older, but a lot wiser? You know who you are and what you want from life. You’re no newcomer to dating, but you’re stepping out into a different world of partner choices.
The second time around for dating seniors can be quite fulfilling and more comfortable than dating as a “youngster.” Your goals have changed; you’re more mature; you’re past the “I want a hunk” phase.
You are looking for depth, mature thinking, and a more serious-minded relationship.
Who have you become? What’s important to you in life? Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Men want to meet the “real” woman behind the social mask, and women want to find a sincere, down-to-earth man. Singles over 50 want to enjoy life while moving forward in it.
After ending a 22-year marriage, in which we had become scripted players in an unfulfilling play, I decided life had more to offer. I rethought my goals and values and looked for a compatible mate.
How do you begin to date again? Some women come from acrimonious divorces; they want someone completely new. Widows may feel very vulnerable and want a “replacement,” which is impossible. First, know yourself; you’re a woman with Life experience.
Be yourself. Do what you enjoy doing, and attract a man who enjoys the same things. That at least sets the stage for some good times, while getting to know one another better.
Do you enjoy Nature, animals, yard sales, dancing, dining out? Do you like to take walks on the beach or travel to new places? Do you only want a compatible companion and not long-term commitment? Personal ads like “companionship with possible relationship” carry sexual overtones. Go for what you want.
Take walks, go bowling, dancing, or eat by yourself in a fine restaurant. If you wish to be noticed as an independent woman with a mind of her own, don’t travel with a girlfriend all the time. Make yourself available. Don’t hang around bars if you don’t want to meet a man who does more than drink socially.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Men notice women who are kind, women who love children, women who take care of their bodies. I do not mean women who obsess about their looks or weight, but those women who carry themselves proudly, who dress well, keep their hair looking nice, and use make-up tastefully.
Such a woman exudes confidence, and mature men are not threatened by that; they like it.
Take classes in things men are interested in, for example, how to manage money, car care, and good health care for seniors. Many colleges and hospitals offer free evening classes to the public. If you’re interested in arts and crafts, handwriting analysis, and belly dancing, go for it. You might not meet men there, but you’ll become a more fulfilled woman.
We come as a package deal. Be forthright about who you are and what you value most; you will surely draw a complementary partner to yourself who shares the same values.
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