5 Big Red Flags: Men You Shouldn’t Be Dating
Ah, the proverbial list. Those nasty little red flags that tell you, don’t go there with this guy. It took many years, and many nights out, to obtain my precious little list. Oddly enough, they are really simple, and pretty much obvious. The problem is, most women are at least somewhat aware of them, however, they get it in their heads, “Oh he’s not really that bad”, or “He really didn’t mean it”. My favorite is “But he’s so cute, and has such potential”. Give me a break. Sorry ladies, but ‘What You See, is What You Get”. If you don’t really like him now, it won’t happen later on. I’ll give you a moment to get over that one. Anyway, here is my list of the 5 big ones to look for. And yes, you have to be willing to look for them, or it won’t work.
- “I really don’t usually drink this much”. Okay, guess what? Yes he does. If you are out dancing, listening to music and Mr. Wonderful comes over. You start talking, and hours go by, he’s on his 12th beer, Yet, it’s like he’s perfectly sober. Guess what that means? It takes a long time to learn how to tolerate 12 beers, like you haven’t had any. Seriously, if a man has more than a few drinks over a few hours, he may have a drinking problem. Unless you are into being the best little enabler in the world, stay clear of this one.
- “I still live with my parents because they are getting old and need me to help”. Love this one. No, he’s living with them because he never grew up (Peter Pan). He’s irresponsible, can’t pay bills, doesn’t wan to pay bills, and wants to take long breaks in between jobs. Besides that, his mommy does his laundry. Let’s face it, if he had a great job, making good money, he could afford to pay for someone to come in to help dear old mom and dad. I do understand on a very rare occasion this may be true. Go with the odds. If you date this guy, you will be his new found mommy.
- “I don’t have a car because”. This is where he says any number of excuses. It goes on and on. The probable real reason? He has a car, maybe, if he’s not one of the irresponsible ones. Careful here. He may have had his license taken away for either DUI, or too many speeding tickets to count. Be careful driving with this one. Oh yeah, I forgot he doesn’t have a car.
- “I don’t pay child support because I know my ex-wife (usually they have a better name for her than this), will spend the money on herself instead of the kids”. This is one of my absolute favorites. It’s a pile of cow dung. If a father cares about his kids he will do the right thing and pay child support for those kids. It is not his job to monitor the kid’s mom’s spending habits. It’s his job to help take care of his kids, and show those kids he’s a responsible parent.
- “It was all my ex’s fault, she’s a real Witch” (insert B if you wish). This is a real simple one. If she’s the witch now, guess who’s gonna be the next one, when you break up with him. If any man says anything bad about their former love interests, dollars to donuts you’ll be the next one when one of you moves on. This man just blames everything on everybody but himself. Just wait, see how many things he’ll blame you for. Stay way clear of this one.
Okay, there it is, the big 5. Now remember, you have to be willing to see these red flags, and Not make excuses for him. Move on quickly if any of these pop up. Especially if more than one pops up. Always remember, while your kissing that toad, and hoping to make him into prince charming, your Mr. Right may pass you by!
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