Dating Over 50: What I Have Learned in the Last Three Years
I was divorced almost 4 years ago and was suddenly back on the dating scene. Now at just over 50 at the time I was in a new world. Internet dating sites! OK this should be easy. Not on your life.
It used to be you went to social functions like church or the bars or dances to meet women. Well I grew out of the bar scene a long time ago, don’t have much connection with the churches and bands no matter where they play are still too loud to talk to anyone. Now it is much easier to sit at the computer and search for someone at home in your underwear. Not a real good visual I know but it is what we have come to in these changing times.
To start with there are choices out there for anything you want to find in a dating site. My space is one and very popular, you can localize your search, specify your preference and search for the people you would like to meet. This makes it something of a problem because women on this site (as well as all the others) are bombarded with requests to be friends, lovers and are virtually stalked to tears by the men.
One site I found very early on was Adult Friend Finder, advertised as the world’s largest Sex and Swingers site in the world. They are by the numbers but the only way to meet people from the site is to join one of the groups locally and attend “Meet and Greets”. These events are posted on the group site and not in the open so you have to belong to the group to know when these events happen. Each group has a moderator, (I am a moderator of a group) and they oversee most of these events and most are just that, meet others from the group and have a good time, they do not always include “hook-ups”, though it does happen. This site more than some of the others offers for a fee that you will be more “in demand” if you pay. This goes without saying as you can’t email or communicate with anyone other than through the group. So you rely on personal contact to get email addies or contact info from the meet and greets.
One thing in common on all of the sites is there are about 10 men to every woman on the site, this is statistically proven. So take heart ladies you still rule our world. Now to find your lady love or lovers. Two common mistakes men make is to put up a photo that is 10 years old and the other is to put up what is commonly referred to as a “body parts” shot, from the waist down nude. I always get a kick out of guys who do this as the women I have talked to say the same thing, you see one you have seen them all. One comment was there are only three types of male members, long, short and tattooed. Screen names are part of this as well and project a lot about who you are (male or female) so choose who you want to project to your suitors or women.
Once you have a women’s attention you have 9 others trying, so keeping her interested you best be very honest. Honesty is by far the one thing every woman I know wants in the man she is looking for in a match or mate.
Men over 50 seem to have the least interest from women 45 to 59, never have figured this out but a man in his 50’s, if in good shape, healthy and with a good libido can perform just as well or better than his 30 and 40-year-old counterparts just due to his experience. If he is a skilled lover, he should be sought out by these women. He is most often more stable, secure in who he is and has less in the way of emotional baggage. As long as a man is physically able, he should seek to keep his libido active, listen to his partner and learn what pleases her, never rush the act of lovemaking, and seek to please her before himself. This from my experience can be and is to me just as satisfying as anything we do to pleasure ourselves with each other.
I read just one article here today, “younger men or older men”, a female author, who concluded she would stay with men of the older group and near her own age. She knows that she is more satisfied by a man who listens than by one who does it multiple times in one night. Both can be satisfying, but the old saying “What I used to do all night now takes me all night to do” can for many women be just as good if not better.
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