What I Learned – Bird’s-Eye View of Dating
I spent most of this morning thinking about all the people that have come in and out of my life. With divorced parents, there has been quite a few people casually stroll through my life. My mother’s endeavors in love stand out to me as this journey produced many figures. This afforded me an interesting opportunity as a young adult wise beyond my years. I was able to view the dating scene from a third party perspective, literally, and being able to get the bird’s eye view of love has taught me some invaluable lessons.
My mom dated A LOT. It seems quite funny now, but I have met some crazy middle-aged dudes! And for a time not so long ago, it felt as if my husband and I were casually dating these fine champs right alongside my mother, joining them for quiet dinners and long walks along the beach. As with any lady joining the love scene for the second time around, she needed some familial support, and I, her only child, was just the girl for the job.
It was my husband’s job to spot the crazies- you know, the men we knew were completely psychotic. Fortunately for us, complete nut jobs were few and far between, but we all had our radar on just in case. Vigilance was key to our protection. Most of the time, however, the men we met while on this noble quest to find my mother true love… again…, were just average joes looking for the same thing she was.
On the other hand, to say that there is a wide range of personalities out there is a definite understatement! It was a research project just finding out all the little things that made these people tick. Everyone was so different in what the liked to do, eat, and listen to. I loved finding out what kinds of behaviors made them angry and what things made them happy. I learned much about human nature from these double dates with my mom.
So did any of them leave an impression on me? A few stand out, certain character traits, certain personality traits, but for the most part, I have to feel that most people are alright. You just have to find the right one- the one you click with.
She, wait a minute, we, had to shuffle through a few gentlemen, but eventually she did find someone to share her life with, and I hope it lasts a while. With divorced parents, I think the kids always wonder. But now that this journey seems over, I reminisce about the process. It has truly enlightened me. It taught me to respect other people no matter how different their values may be from my own, but that it is good to choose to be around people with the same values. It has taught to appreciate the quirks that makes someone special. No one, I repeat, no one is perfect, and if they think they are they are being dishonest to themselves and to all others. Everyone has faults, and more often than not, its these “bad” things- gecko toes like I have or an incessant need to clean like my mom has or skinny legs or no tushy- that make a person so very loveable. It is a necessary thing to like yourself for all that your worth- the nutty parts and all. And you must appreciate people for who they are and what they have taught you. I guarantee if you think hard enough everyone has taught you something.
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