The Connection Between Weight and Dating
I Would Never Date a Fat Girl
I have been in a relationship for about six months now. He is caring, funny and we get along perfectly … basically all I could want in a relationship. So on one particularly boring Tuesday night I asked that very question, the one every woman wants to know but hates to ask “am I the type of person you are usually attracted to?”
My boyfriend smartly gave the correct response and simply said that he is attracted to beautiful woman. Content with that answer I was about to change the subject to what we should watch on television when he added “I could never date a fat girl” Of course once said statement was made, I had about a million questions running through my head ranging from what if she was a really good person to maybe she was just heavier because she was going through an emotional time would you still not date her? (yes I blamed emotions on weight gain). At this point my boyfriend realized the line he crossed and quickly amended his answer but the damage had been done.
We live in a society that praise the skinny and condemn the heavy. Politicians are talking of putting a special tax on our favorite Milky Way bars and French fries to try and deter people from eating those types of food. When our society has reached a point when we are considering taxing “bad food” have we crossed the line and reached the point of no return? Has dating turned into a place where the skinny will succeed and find love and the heavy will be alone, miserable, and heavily taxed on their favorite foods?
I consulted one of my good friends, Misty, who through the miracle of eating healthy and working out (plus prescribed weight loss pills) had lost an impressive 100 pounds and a 285-pound boyfriend. I wondered if after losing the weight she felt the need to “trade-up” in the world of dating hence ditching the considered “over-weight” boyfriend by popular standards. Over subway sandwiches (less than 300 calories a piece) she told me his weight had nothing to do with her ending a four-year relationship. She admitted that since her weight loss she felt the need to socialize and do things outside of watching the television every night (did not admit to her I sat through a mini Law and Order SVU marathon that previous night) and he was a home body and their lives became too different and they grew apart.
Even though Misty said her weight loss was not the downfall to their relationship I disagreed. Before she started popping weight loss pills like Altoids I could hardly convince her to get a cocktail with me once a month and now with her make-over almost complete she feels more confident to get that one and sometimes three cocktails with me. So in reality it seemed my good friend started going out once she felt her weight was acceptable by society standards and thus ditching what I considered to be a great guy.
After my unsatisfying 300 calorie lunch I continued my day determined not to think about weight but the issue kept reappearing. From the $4.00 dollar magazines I have to buy every month that features new mothers already losing all their baby weight (mind you in less time than it takes me to get across town) to women in the bathroom discussing the vending machine not having enough “healthy options” our lives are consumed with weight. Even when I tried not to think about weight it was as if society would not allow me that for even one day. That night over pizza I even felt guilty about ordering extra cheese and not opting for the diet coke.
I realized I was holding a grudge against my boyfriend for the comment he made. But I realized he was just being honest, just doing what society encouraged him to do. For women all we can do is battle the urge to give in to society and try… not to be happy with ourselves (I mean come on who are we trying to kid) but maybe be ok with who we are and what we look like. If woman can accomplish that feat maybe society in general will follow or at least reconsider tacking on 10 cents to our favorite fast food… even a size 0 has to indulge in fries when she is having a rough week.
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