How young is too young to start dating?
All fathers dread the fact that one day his sweet innocent daughter is going to come home and announce she has a boyfriend. Worse still only if you are going to find out about it from someone else weeks after.
The bad news its pretty much too late to do anything about it once they reach that age, whatever ‘that age’ is for your particular daughter. That age will vary from country to country and between different cultures and even different between two of your own girls even tho you brought them up pretty much the same way in your eyes. Every child is different and matures faster or slower than their siblings or others of their friends.
What do I mean that its too late? Honestly there is not a lot you can do. The seeds of trust and morals will have already been formed a long way back and you will just have to trust that you have instilled good morals into your daughter and she will know right from wrong. As long as you have good communication with your daughter and she knows she can always talk to you no matter how bad the problem or situation is, you and she will be fine.
I have always told all five of my children, repeatedly, that they can always come to me and talk about anything, no matter how bad, how embarrassing or whatever it may be. I have always promised to listen and not be cross if they open up to me about anything.
Depending on the situation, their mood and their age they will either prefer to talk to mum or to dad and as long as they know that they can do this with one or the other it doesn’t matter which. Obviously in most situations the parents are going to discuss it later with each other anyways. Your daughter will have a closer bond with one or the other, usually the mother, but will be able to talk to one parent easier than the other, whichever parent that is.
Its important to be non judgmental and listen. Depending on the age of the daughter she is going to do it anyway behind your back so is best it is all up front and then you have a chance of setting some rules and ground rules rather than her sneaking out at night without you knowing or as they do, pretend they are staying with a friend (girl friend) when they are not or they leave from there. Trust me you are far better knowing what they are up to than having no idea until they get into trouble.
You can always compromise. I.E. you don’t stop her doing it when she has told you, but you quietly and calmly make sure she is aware of protection etc. They sure know more about it these days then when we had our first experience that is for sure and girls freely talk about it with their friends, so you will get the ‘I’m not stupid dad’ speech, but as well to find out and keep it uppermost in her mind. As long as you know about it you can control it. For instance one of my daughters was sneaking out at night while living with her mother because her mother just flat out refused to let her have a boyfriend as ‘she is too young’. But of course she just did it anyway and was in danger of course being on the street at night sneaking out. When she came to live with me, we agreed that she would do it anyway, so I allowed it and she didn’t have to sneak out. I would take her and pick her up at a reasonable hour. Always suggest an earlier curfew than you intend and when she baulks at that you can compromise with a later time. She thinks you have conceded and is more than happy that she thinks she has won that battle and you end up with, or around the same time, that you really had in mind anyway. You have to be smarter than the average teenager. Even ask them what time they think they should be home. They will generally give a time earlier than they want but think it will be closer to what you expect and are going to make it, so depending on what there answer is, you can even make it half and hour later than what they say. They are very happy and you come off looking like a great dad in their eyes….not knowing its still an hour before you thought you were going to have to concede to! Everybody is happy.
All my children know no matter how much trouble they think they are in or what they have done they can always call me and I will pick them up from anywhere and not go mad at them rather than them walking home at night, or having to ride in a car with someone who has been drinking, or with whom they feel unsafe, or whatever. Teenage girls know how dangerous it is to ride in a car with someone over the limit.
So communication is the key. Make sure your daughter knows that she can always talk about anything with you. How young is too young to start dating will be different very each and every daughter.
Related: Hot Tips | Body Language | Single Dads | Dating Profile | Courtship | Avoiding Turnoffs | Dating Trends | Shy People | Dating Rules | Senior Tips | Reality Shows | Do’s and Don’ts | Scandalous Shows | Top 5 Sites | Free Online Dating | Christian Dating | Gay
