The worst thing you can do is get into a relationship because you think they will fix you.
We are shown constantly through the media that getting into a relationship will fix your problems, this is even shown to children in fairy tales, when Cinderella finds a prince who takes her away from her evil family, or when Snow White can only be awakened by a man. Children are told that getting in a relationship will fix all their problems, and they grow up waiting for a partner to come along instead of trying to fix their problems themselves.
When people with a strong belief that they will be fixed by a relationship get a partner they immediately indulge the other person in their problems, expecting them to be able to help and fix them. Though your partner will often want to help, they may not be in a position to actually help, especially if your problems are excessive and therapist worthy. Though they will try to help, they will be unable to actually help you and definitely will not fix you. Eventually your problems can become too much for them and your constant neediness will become annoying and, quite often a deal breaker. The best thing you can do when you discover that you do have problems is to not push them onto anyone else, the only person who truly understand what’s going on inside your head is you and only you have the power to fix yourself. Depending on the severity of your problems, you may need to seek a therapists advice. You need to work on fixing yourself and not waiting for someone else to fix you because no matter how hard they try and want to help you, they can never fully fix your problems.
Instead of focusing your time on trying to find a partner to fix you, work on yourself, work on fixing your problems and being perfectly fine being alone, once you fix yourself and are happy with yourself it will be easier for you to get into a healthy relationship because if you’re happy with yourself then you will be able to be happy in a relationship and not be constantly trying to push your problems onto your partner.
Remember that your problems are your own, and your partner should not have to feel like your personal therapist, though they will want to help you, and should definitely try to help you, your relationship should not be constantly filled with them trying to solve all of your life problems; a relationship is not meant it to be all happy, and occasionally you will find yourselves helping each other with your individual problems, but your relationship should not solely be filled with helping and fixing. It is also important to remember that everyone has their own problems, and your partner may very well have some very severe ones, and may need help with their problems, though they should not force them onto you, they will also need you to be there as a rock for them and should not be constantly forced to deal with your problems and forget their own.
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