How One Person Views the Dating Game
Dating is an art form that only some understand and even fewer perfect. The problem when going out on a date is not just one aspect, it is the entire date itself. Who pays? Where do you go? What do I talk about? Is there going to be a goodnight kiss? All of these thoughts race through the minds of young adults today before engaging on a night of uncertainties, surprises, disappointments and rewards. But if dating is so difficult to master, why have tons of authors made a lot of money selling their books and ideas yet to avail of the generation involved in dating now? The reason being is most of them are past their time and have not had a real date with the pressures of today like the rest of us. Dating is no longer what people perceive it to be, and it will continue its growth and change as years past and new ideas are sprung into action. It is no longer a formal event involving the entire families, but more of a contest, a sport.
Beth Bailey, author of “From Front Porch to Back Seat: A History of the Date” for Ladies Home Journal describes the history of the rules and regulations in the dating game and how they have progressed. She claims that “since the early 1970s, no completely dominant national system of courtship has emerged,” and to a point this might be true. Through personal experiences and experiences of peers, I believe that even though today it is socially acceptable to go “dutch”, or share the bill, many of us young male daters feel the need to pay for everything. When I go out for a date with my girlfriend, I always insist that I pay and the same goes for all of my friends who have girlfriends. It is not necessarily a tradition issue, but rather a pride and respect one. We want to be looked at as the boyfriend who takes care of his girlfriend not only for our reputations but for future endeavors with other women.
One may argue however, like in Bailey’s case, that dating does not go on anymore. That the only dating goes on between “steady” couples and singles just find time to “hook-up”. This idea though is squandered but not completely. A distant friend of mine at my high school insists on asking a girl out on a date before “hooking-up” with them. A very gentleman like thing to do, it sometimes could turn into something more. This friend however is amongst the minority. Many males will not ask out our female counterparts for one reason: rejection. In some eyes, rejection is the ultimate back-breaker. Not only are they embarrassed by the female, but in front of all their peers who undoubtedly have heard about it. So they go for the “hook-up” where there is no commitment and you end up feeling pretty good about yourself.
Sex and money can basically sum up the ideas of the dating game today. Some men try to use money to influence the women to engage in sexual activities, while some women just want a good hot meal for free. Either way, sex is the destination of all dates and for right now at least, money is fuel to get you there. Without sex, would their be dating? Without the monetary issue, would their be more sex? Is this idea shaping our minds positively or negatively? As author Vigen Guroian states in his article “Dorm Brothel,” a inside look at college encounters and experiences, “The sex carnival that is our college life today is also doing great damage to our sons’ characters, deforming their attitudes toward the opposite sex. I am witnessing a perceptible dissipation of manly virtue in the young men I teach.” Maybe sex is influencing our minds badly, but maybe this is just the new for of dating for the 21st century.
The dating game is rapidly changing and becoming less and less formal by the day. “Hook-ups” will soon take over dating completely and casual sex will, and maybe already is the norm. The authors whom are closer to younger adults in their lives is noticeable, for they have a stronger outlook on dating today and a more precise opinion. Yet, it is also quite obvious who was been out of the game for quite some time. Dating has its beginners, its amateurs and its professionals, along with its coaches. Some win some lose, some throw the date. Like professional sports, dating has become just a game today.
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