How to Date a Woman with Kids
Dating can be difficult enough, but when you add kids to the mix, it can constantly seem like a battle, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s a few things you can do to help your relationship if she has kids, to respect her and her kids relationship as well as your own.
If she doesn’t want you to meet them, don’t pressure her. She probably won’t want you to meet them for a while, especially if they’re young. There’s a reason for this, she doesn’t want them to get attached to you and think you’re their new dad if you’re going to leave quickly. She wants to be sure that the men her kids meet are going to be there for them, someone they can really depend on. If you’re not that guy then you need to go. Her kids are going to come first no matter what.
You need to attempt to create a relationship with her kids. You don’t have to be their best friend and hang out for ice cream without the mum, but you do have to try. She’ll appreciate the effort, even if her kids don’t love you straight away, and so will they. They definitely do not want men in their lives who aren’t going to help them with their science projects or play backyard soccer with them. Make an effort and it will pay off.
Respect her rules. If she has certain rules in place with her kids, follow them. If she doesn’t want her kids staying out past 10 or eating candy after 4 or having boys in the house then respect her decision and don’t attempt to undermine her to get the kids to like you. It’s always tempting to give them all the things that their mum won’t because it’ll make them think you’re the cool guy, but it’ll make her hate you because you’ll be constantly undermining her and teaching her kids that they can do what they want and not listen to her rules. They’re her kids not yours and if you want your relationship to continue you have to respect her rules for her own kids.
Spend time with the kids on their own. Mum doesn’t have to be involved in everything, and it’ll make her love you more if you can give her some free time and take the kids to do something fun. If you don’t feel confident in your parenting abilities, take them somewhere like the pool or the park or even the movies, somewhere that is fun but you don’t constantly have to be entertaining them. It will show everyone that you are trying.
Try take on some roles around the house. Obviously, this does not mean being their new dad, but just offer to help around. Put the kids to bed or cook the dinner, it will show that you’re capable of taking care of the kids and will show her that you really care. It’ll also give her a bit more relaxing time, which is always a plus for a mother.
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