Dating Your Friend’s Ex
How to Date Your Friend’s Ex
This article may provide some tips and advice for dating your friend’s ex. Although this article is addressing a girl dating her female friend’s ex, the advice can be useful whether you are a girl or a guy.
Dating your friend’s ex can be very tricky and a challenge you may not even want to think about. If you are really close friends who are honest with each other, how will you ever talk to her about this? She may feel betrayed. You may have a friend who says she doesn’t really care and wouldn’t be bothered by your dating her ex, but once it actually happens she may well feel very differently. Did your friend really feel it was over with her ex? Maybe she was still hoping to try and work things out. Remember that everything is not always what it seems.
Will it be awkward?
Was your friend’s ex abusive with her physically and or mentally? Did he cheat on her? Having a relationship with someone your friend couldn’t get along with may cause problems if your friend still doesn’t want to be around that person, you may not be able to spend as much time together and it may not be worth it.
On the other hand, having a relationship where you are dating your friend’s ex, may seem like no big deal if…
- You weren’t really good friends anyway
- Your friend is dating your ex as well or has before.
- You and your friend have a spoken or unspoken agreement that it’s okay to date each other’s ex boyfriends.
When considering dating your friend’s ex and you really want to maintain a good friendship, you should talk to your friend about dating her ex beforehand. If for some reason you don’t get to talk to your friend before, explain the circumstances of your getting involved with your friend’s ex. Did you meet online or in a chat room? If you met in a chat room or online where your identities weren’t disclosed until a connection had been made, then explain this to your friend. Explain to your friend that you would never have gotten involved intentionally. Is it appropriate to tell your friend you already have strong feelings for her ex? Try to consider what type of friend you have and if they will be tolerant and understanding.
Try to choose the right time.
Obviously there is a time and place for everything. Try as best you can to choose a time to talk to your friend about her ex that you’re dating or that you want to date when she is in a good mood and preferably when she is in a good, happy relationship of her own.
Dating your friend’s ex may seem like the only way to go.
If you know or strongly feel that this is your soul mate look at the full picture. When getting involved with an ex of your friend’s make sure that the ex is not acting interested in you just to hurt and get back at or get back together with your friend. Maybe he is just using you, and you may be the one left alone and hurt in the end.
Look for the signs.
Why did your friend breakup? If your friend claims that her ex was abusive, mentally unstable or quick tempered remember this and watch out. You may be getting into a dangerous relationship that your friend tried to warn you about.
Use it to your benefit. If you’ve established that dating your friend’s ex is okay, see if your friend is open to giving you some tips on what your boyfriend does and doesn’t like. Tread softly here; maybe saying something like “I have some birthday shopping to do” will prompt your friend to suggest a gift she knows her ex would like. If you are sure that your friend is super cool with the whole dating her ex thing, you could just come out and ask her for tips and advice. Remember not to take anything too literally. After all things didn’t work out too well for them so her advice may not be too good to follow to the letter.
When dating your friend’s ex the bottom line is; is it worth it? Things may not work out between you and your friend’s ex so, is it worth possibly ruining a good friendship? Dating your friend’s ex is not tolerated in most friendships, so if your friend is okay with it then feel lucky that you can have your cake and eat it too!
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