Your Father is Dating a Much Younger Woman – How to React
You’ve finally accepted the fact that your father has reentered the dating scene. After the painful loss of your mother or being witness to their marriage ending after decades of being together, you worked through your emotions and realized that the need for companionship does not disappear with age. Suddenly, he announces that he has met someone and is quite happy in his new relationship. You wish to be supportive in this new chapter of his life, but what if he tells you that the woman he is dating is closer to your age than to his? This article will offer suggestions on how to react to this situation without damaging the relationship you have with your father.
Realize That He Does Not Need Your Approval. First and foremost, you need to remember that your father is an adult and is free to make his own choices regardless of his children’s opinions. You have undoubtedly chosen partners over the years that your father was not necessarily thrilled with, but just as he was not in the position to make your relationship choices, you are not in the position to make his.
Show an Interest in Getting to Know This Woman. Find out where your father met this person, what they have in common and what her likes and interests are. Do not be so put off at the age difference that you fail to show any interest in the woman that has become a very important part of your father’s life. When you are ready, invite the couple to your home or out to dinner so that you can meet and get to know your father’s new love interest.
Give Her the Benefit of the Doubt. When younger women date older men, there is usually two assumptions that are made. The first is that the woman is looking for financial security from a well-established man and the other is that she has emotional issues which cause her to seek out a father figure. Although one of these two scenarios may be the case, it is certainly not a given. Try to keep an open mind and realize that all the wonderful characteristics that your father possesses are apparent to the rest of the world and that she may simply have been attracted to your father for his inner qualities, regardless of the age difference.
Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Openly About The Age Difference. Both your father and his new love interest are surely aware that their vast difference in ages will cause concern among loved ones. Politely inquire as to how they feel about it and what their concerns are. Your father may welcome the opportunity to discuss the situation and what he sees as the pros and cons of the relationship are. Do not project a judgmental attitude or condemn your father for his choice in partners. Doing so will hurt your father deeply and possibly cause serious harm to your relationship.
Keep The Situation In Perspective. Many older men date much younger women for a time and then quickly become bored or realize how unfulfilling the relationship is. A large age difference often means an inability to related on a deep level due to the differences in life experiences. Your father may be initially enamored by this young woman and then within weeks or months realize that there truly is no hope for a future together. Overreacting to the situation may cause both you and he a great deal of stress and conflict over a relationship that is over before it even started.
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