Single Parent Dating: Four Essential Tips
Getting Back into Dating as a Single Parent
When my ex-wife and I ended out relationship, we had one problem: our son. Both of us knew that the time had come to start dating other people. We parted as friends and even today we still spend time together, but our big concern was that our six-year-old, Joey, was going to be confused if he saw Mommy or Daddy dating someone else.
We both love our child and didn’t want to cause him any trauma, so we developed a system with the help of many of our single parent friends that incorporated their single parent dating tips into our single parent lives. These are the strategies that helped both of us get back into the joy of being single while still being parents.
1) Leave the kid(s) at home and arrange to meet your dates in public locations. There is no need for a child to meet your new friends. We both knew that perhaps someday we would meet someone that was going to be with us long term. The problem is that as a single parent, you don’t want to confuse your child with a constantly changing cast of the people you are dating. We decided that Joey would only meet those special someones after a year of dating them. We would explain this to the people we dated and in many cases it caused our dates to work harder to have a relationship with us so that they could meet our child.
2) Go on dates on nights when the other parent has the child or when a qualified babysitter is available. The advantage of dating on nights when the other parent has the child is that you can have sleepovers without confusing the child. Don’t forget to remind your date to take their toothbrush or panties with them though, as this might lead to some uncomfortable questions. I learned this one the hard way.
3) One of the best single parent dating tips we received was from our friend Betsy. Betsy refuses to take calls from people she is dating while her kids are with her. Not only does this keep the kids out of her business, but it also keeps her kids from reporting on her dating to their father.
4) Take plenty of play dates. There are two kinds of play dates. The first is where you, the single parent, take your date to activities that your children enjoy, without your child. This gives you the opportunity to see if the person you are dating is suitable to have fun with your child. The second play date is the dates you take with your kids, without any person you are dating there. Part of the joy of being a parent is getting to have fun with your kids, so don’t forget about them while you are having a great time getting back into the dating scene.
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